sepulchritude:

It’s true that god nerfed me with depression, dysphoria, and executive dysfunction to prevent me from growing powerful enough to best him in hand-to-hand combat at age 15 but the joke’s on him because one day I’m going to overcome those and I’m going to kill him for his disrespect

kelgrid:

prokopetz:

Alternative to the tired old wizard-with-a-sugar-daddy interpretation of the patron/warlock relationship in Dungeons & Dragons:

  • Clueless boss and long-suffering employee, whose powers are basically the magical equivalent of pilfering office supplies for personal use
  • Scheming master and duplicitous apprentice who are totally open about their loathing for each other and are keen to see who betrays whom first
  • Bureaucratic devil and soul-peddling diabolist with a contract a mile long, each honestly believing they’re getting the better of the other
  • Glowering quartermaster and loose-cannon operative, whose record for getting results just barely justifies the expense of employing them
  • Indifferent parent who pays their estranged offspring’s allowance like clockwork but otherwise prefers to deal with them as little as possible
  • Vast, slumbering god-monster and amoral parabiologist who knows which spots to poke with a stick to provoke particular autonomic responses

You forgot the most important

redlipstickresurrected:

9Jedit aka 제딧 (Korean, South Korea) – 133/365 from 365 Days of Daydream, 2017 Digital Arts: Paintings