thebibliosphere:

chocolateclockwise:

prokopetz:

Level 1: Porn with plot

Level 2: Porn with social commentary

Level 3: Porn with troubling philosophical implications

Level 4: Porn with maddening revelations of humanity’s place in the cosmos

Level 5: Porn with math

@thebibliosphere

I have somehow managed to write all of these in one book.

argumate:

captainsnoop:

the fact that obama got called in on jury duty is hilarious. imagine you’re in court on some petty misdemeanor like a traffic violation and fuckin obama is there in the jury 

then perish

bakasara:

randomingoftherandomness:

youkaiyume:

tamscribbles:

unsung hero of venom 2018: doctor dan lewis

the man who for once, in the entire history of movie boyfriends, does not give a shit that his girlfriend is within 100 yards of her ex, only that her ex is very ill and needs some tender loving care because wtf is that black space blob

THIS! And even at some point when Anne started to launch into explanations of ‘I swtg nothing is going on between me and Eddie’ he was quick to be like ‘that’s not even an issue. the issue is that he’s about to die and we need to find him????’ At no point was he ever jealous or possessive and he was always very kind and nice to Eddie because he feels secure in his relationship with Anne and trusts her. 

I love Dr Dan and more men should aspire to be like Dr Dan

not only was Venom a romcom, it was way better than 99.9% of m/f romcoms

catfasteve:

it’s so difficult not being able to use milennial humor in a corporate setting. like i made a mistake today and i wanted to tell my supervisor it’s because i suffer from Dumb Bitch Disease, but do you think that would fly?? fuck no. i gotta say shit like, “sorry for the misunderstanding!” i can’t wait till the workforce is made up entirely of millennials and i can say “sorry i drank idiot juice for breakfast this morning” and my coworkers will be like “oh worm.”